Is made from what I learned from you
You'll be with me
Like a handprint on my heart
- Elphaba, Wicked
Today is my dad's birthday. He would have been 62 (and probably not all that happy about it), but he passed away nine years ago. People say it dealing with a loss gets easier with time but really, it just changes.
There's a much longer story to tell, but it is not an exaggeration to say losing my dad had a major impact on my life. I was 23; technically an adult, but really still a baby. I had a little bit of a warning, but it was still a huge shock to the system. I was told he might have 6 weeks to live, but 11 days later he was gone. As the oldest child, I took care of many of the details. There are some things I would change if I could, but I think I did the best I could.
Time has passed, life has moved on, and I am finally at a point where I can control the tears (mostly) and focus on the happy memories. I also find myself thinking about the things that he has missed, both big and small. I am sad that I never really got to have a relationship with him as an adult. I know that my adult relationship with my mom is incredibly special and so eye-opening. Now with some perspective, I really appreciate all of the the things my parents did for me as a child. I would give anything to be able to tell my dad "thank you".
